Je dois épouser le frère de mon défunt mari si je veux conserver ses biens et la maison ou déguerpir !
Le mariage ce merveilleux jour où tu es habillés en blanc attendant que l’élu de ton coeur te déclare son amour devant une foule qui est venu célébrer cette joie avec toi . Une joie qui demeure jusqu’à la fin de notre vie, mais très souvent le départ précoce d’un partenaire nous fait découvrir une autre facette de la vie. Dans mes balades mes yeux se sont posés sur une femme qui était en train de faire la lessive dans une maison .
Curieuse, j’ai abordé la dame et nos langues se sont entremêlées de paroles. Elle s’appelle Afiwa mère de 4 ans et célibataire depuis 4 mauvaises années elle habite à Agoe logopé. J’ote le voile sur son histoire.
Afiwa a vécu 20 ans mariage heureux avec son conjoint avant que le chapeau de la mort ne tombe sur sa tête.
Après les obsèques de son mari elle est rentré au village pour le temps de veuvage. Elle ne pouvait pas savoir qu’après son mari elle allait rompre aussi avec sa maison seule objet de valeur laissé par son mari. « A mon retour avec mes enfants ma belle famille m’a dit que je dois épouser le frère de mon mari ou je quitte la maison car c’est la tradition chez eux. Et j’ai dit non et ils ont répondu que je dois quitter la maison de mon défunt mari en me traitant de meurtrière. Je ne savais pas quoi faire à cet instant mais je savais que j’allais sortir de ce trou. »
Femme battante qu’elle soit elle n’a pas baisser les bras même si en ce moment elle voulait mourir comme son mari. Très difficile
Afiwa dame d’une quarantaine d’années a choisi de passer son quotidien à laver le linge sale de certains ménage pour survivre avec ses enfants. Elle n’a pas voulu finir dans les coins noir avant de trouver à manger même si elle vivait un moment noir de sa vie.
« c’est ce que je fais depuis le décès de mon mari et je prends soin de mes enfants, j’arrive à payer les frais de scolarité et j’essaie d’épargner un peu pour le bien de mes enfants. Je ne veux pas qu’un de mes enfants traverse cette même route pleine d’épines comme moi. Je veux être une bonne mère pour mes enfants. »
Dans ce métier comme tout autre métier , Afiwa rencontre des difficultés liées aux harcèlements et un revenu très bas par rapport aux linges lavé. « il ya parfois certains hommes qui me harcèlent quand je viens chez eux pour travailler mais je sais toujours m’en sortir »
Est-ce que épouser un membre d’une quelconque famille serait synonyme d’épouser toute la famille? Il faut trouver un autre moyen de briser les liens entre le défunt et sa femme au lieu de soumettre la femme à des moments de veuvage et après vivre d’autres événements tristes. Le mariage c’est pour les bons moments et les mauvais moment, mais la vie continue après le départ d’un des partenaires. Cessons de faire souffrir les femmes en les traitant de meurtrière après le décès de leur mari et aidons les plutôt à ne pas tomber dans la dépression . Je ne vois qu’à même pas pourquoi une femme qui aime son mari va mettre fin à sa vie.
Geneviève SAM.
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